I tell my friends I can usually navigate around films with dark and tragic themes because I am protected by the thought that "this is not real." Last night, my mind skipped and hopped at the anticipation of watching Flowers of War by none other than Zhang Yimou.
It was a mistake.
As expected, the filmmaking unmistakably captured the excruciating suffering, only, I found out that it is based on the Rape of Nanking in China. The moment I realized the things I see are based on real historical events, my soul soaked it all in and I started grieving 8 decades too late. By the time the movie was over, I was breaking in cold sweat and my hands were at the point of shaking.
It was bad enough to visually see this one atrocity and it is even a bigger struggle to keep all other human cruelties that are real.
The Massacre in Rwanda.
The Holocaust.
The Death March.
Human Trafficking.
This is just a few and the list is long.
I have to keep them out of my bleeding heart and imaginative mind.
I think I need to be debriefed.
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