Black fingernails and lipgloss
Rough hands with delicate fingers
Sometimes sticky with ribs
Sometimes powdery with eyeshadow
Stretch marks and knife cuts
Fist on a table and tears on the eyes
Unwavering faith while changing minds
Innocent affections, naive thoughts
Upright but with an undercurrent of fire
Sweetness-coated passion
All feminine to me.
...is like romance and true love. They are best friends and worst enemies. One paves way for the other, and then they tear each other apart. Little do we know that they are two different beings.
Romance is in the longing, the distance, the absence. True love is in complete knowledge of a person and embracing it through and through. Romance builds up in wistful fantasies based on myteries, on the what-ifs and the unknown. True love gets built up on truth.
Romance is needed to pursue true love but romance will not survive the everyday that true love sustains.
I like the rain. Even decades ago (yes I am an elf), nasabi na iyan ng aking murang isipan.
I like rain when I am huddled inside the house with a book, a film and a hot drink.
I like the rain when I am outside walking, getting my feet wet, with or without an umbrella.
Happy or lonely, I like the rain because it is the clouds of the sky going out of its way to the ground to embrace me.
Sayang naman.
Bumukas ang pinto
Pero hindi ka pumasok.
Dahil ba maaga pa?
Wala bang kutitap?
O dahil mahaba pa
Ang kalyeng makurap?
Sinundan mo ba
Ang mabilis na kislap?
Di mo ba alam,
Kaya nakikita ang kinang
Sa dilim siya nakalagak?
Ngayon, naligaw ka na
Ang pinto, nasan na?
I tell my friends I can usually navigate around films with dark and tragic themes because I am protected by the thought that "this is not real." Last night, my mind skipped and hopped at the anticipation of watching Flowers of War by none other than Zhang Yimou.
It was a mistake.
As expected, the filmmaking unmistakably captured the excruciating suffering, only, I found out that it is based on the Rape of Nanking in China. The moment I realized the things I see are based on real historical events, my soul soaked it all in and I started grieving 8 decades too late. By the time the movie was over, I was breaking in cold sweat and my hands were at the point of shaking.
It was bad enough to visually see this one atrocity and it is even a bigger struggle to keep all other human cruelties that are real.
The Massacre in Rwanda.
The Holocaust.
The Death March.
Human Trafficking.
This is just a few and the list is long.
I have to keep them out of my bleeding heart and imaginative mind.
I think I need to be debriefed.
