#25: An Unusual Love Letter

Surprise! You're pregnant!
I am? How can that be? I am not supposed to be.
Why not?
Because I was supposed to be "safe". Because Himig is barely 1 and a half years old. Worst of all, because If I'm six weeks pregnant now, it only means I was 3 weeks pregnant when I got chicken pox. I can't be pregnant.


But I was. There was no denying it. I told it to my usually bubbly OB-Gyne and as expected, just like me, she wasn't able to rejoice. I had chicken pox. Chicken pox and pregnancy should not even belong in the same sentence. It took me a while to get my head around that reality. I allowed myself some time to mourn and accept that things may not go as perfectly s it went with my firstborn, Himig. I even prayed that I'd rather have the Lord just take my second baby right away than give birth to her with parts of her body or mind deformed from the effects of the chicken pox.


However, a wise mentor of ours reminded us that this is a blessing and nothing is impossible with our God. He allowed it to happen and it should be beautiful. After digesting that, I was finally given the grace to let go and have peace that God, in the end, is in control of everything. Normal or otherwise, He has the final say and ultimate plan.


A lot of trusted friends prayed with us until on my 5th month, I received a love letter from our Maker. It is addressed to me and worded in a very unusual way but it is one of the sweetest letter I ever received. He titled it Congenital Anomaly Scan Result. Here it goes:


Esteban, Anne


Pelvic Ultrasound:
Single, intra-uterine fetus in cephalic presentation with:
Good cardiac and somatic activity
No uterine mass seen.
Placenta - posterior, grade 1, high-lying
Amniotic fluid: maximum vertical pocket = 4.5cm


CAS: Intact cranium, normal head shape, normal intra-cranial structures. No neck mass. Nuchal fold not thickened. Intact lips and normal facial features. Normal intra-thoracic structures. Normal 4-chamber view of the heart. Intact diapragm. Normal kidneys and partially filled urinary bladder [haha! may wee-wee na siya!]. Intact spine. Complete and well-aligned extremeties. 3-vessel cord. Intact cord insertion.


MOST PROBABLY A BABY GIRL
NO GROSS CONGENITAL ANOMALY SEEN IN PRESENT SCAN
ESTIMATED DAY OF DELIVERY: DEC. 22, 2010


*end of letter*


I was not able to do anything to stop my tears from welling up when I read this. It was a very bright light during a dark and tumultous time in our lives. An eye-rolling-ly refreshing drink of cool water in a mall after a full, El Niño summer day stuck inside your air-conditioning-deprived car in the traffic of Recto.


So pray. Learn to pray. Ask your friends to pray with and for you. 


Know that you are not in control, that when you surrender that "illusion of control" to the One who is indeed the God of this Universe, things will turn out just fine. He may even send you your own love letter just so He'll be sure you got the point.