#40: Parental Workout

Now that I have a two year old girl, I realize that you cannot be lazy when you are a parent. And when I say lazy, i do not mean simply physically. Most of us are usually diligent physically: we wake up very early, we battle our way to work, tackle our tasks and our chores. We try to be as nimble as we can so we can get more things done. But there is a certain emotional laziness that will be checked once you become a steward of a child. I can say this now because I myself looked it in the face and struggled with it.



It takes emotional strength to not just give in to your child's demands for jelly or computer games. Most of the time, I am tempted to just give her what she wants just so she'll shut up and give me some peace as I work. Or just let her off the hook after she whacks your helper with a notebook. Or just let her eat in front of the TV. It takes a lot of willpower to stand your ground and let your "no" be a "no" and let the rules stay rules, not suggestions that can be ignored if your child wants to. It's definitely easier now to just be lenient and simply say "She's just a kid, let her have what she wants." 


However, when I am tempted to be lazy that way, I try to think of how I want her to be as an adult - respectful, responsible and strong. When they learn that there are authorities to submit to, they learn to respect people and the rules that keep this world intact and sane.  When children get their due punishment for bad behavior, they learn that they are responsible for their actions and that their choices will have consequences. When children realize that they cannot get what they want all the time, it will prepare them to have a strong heart, a heart that is ready to face the bigger challenges of adulthood, a heart that can cheerfully accept failure and move on. 


So when I feel heavy about giving my daughter a well-deserved spanking, or when I have to endure her tantrums for the chocolate bar she didn't get, I suck in some air, breathe out and be at peace knowing that all theses noise, all these inconveniences, all these tensions, will also come to pass. And ultimately, all these will be for the best for my child.