I feel like I am in the boundary of being considered young and being considered a fully-grown adult (aka known as old). I can still remember how I felt when I was a child, the dreaminess of playtime and Christmas, the slowness of summer and the fizzy excitement of swimming outings. I remember how I felt when I was a teenager, the textures, the warmth of my face with the surge of new emotions, the pursuit of being totally cool, the sharp pains of teenage heartaches, however petty and juvenile.
Now that I have two daughters, I feel like the mysterious door of the adult perspective has been opened to me and revealed a whole new world of wisdom that was simply beyond me during my youth. Everything my parents and elder friends told me before that sounded killjoy, narrow-minded and inconsiderate now actually makes sense. Yet, I still understand why I thought what I thought before. The sentiments that I held before still hold value for me. I just see now the gap that keeps these two generations apart in their thought.
So being here in this unusually eye-opening boundary, here are the insights I learned:
To the adults, parents and elderly:
1. Please do not dismiss the problems, issues and hurts of the young, shrugging them off as juvenile and/or completely ignoring them altogether. While it may be true that their problem with this certain best friend who suddenly started hanging out with someone else may be laughable compared to the civil lawsuit you are facing, for the young's limited experience, those things they are going through are very real to them. Ignoring the seemingly petty issues of your children can really make them feel insignificant and unloved.
2. I know that you have challenges that push you to the end of your rope but please don't take it out on your children just because you know that you have authority over them. They deserve respect, too. Being polite to your children will teach them to respect other people, too.
3. Children are simply curious beings. They can be very inquisitive and annoying, too. But please be careful not to snap at them or scold them for something they don't understand yet. You have no idea how harsh words can scar them inwardly.
4. You are indeed wiser. Time has given you that opportunity. However, you need to have a certain acceptance that the young has a limited understanding of this wisdom you earned. Having said that, let us not cram this wisdom down our youth's throat and expect them to digest it the way we want them to. Chances are, they won't. Don't keep on telling them "I've been there, I've done that so you better listen." That will just annoy them and make them more resistant to your guidance. Life itself will teach them and make them embrace these truths that you have been preaching to them. I know it's ironic. But maybe that is why you need to be gracious, have a more open mind and hold their hands along, however stupid the young may be for not taking your word for it. After all, you have been there, right? You just have to strain to remember how you felt yourself.
5. Your children will make mistakes. Just like you did. Don't expect them to make up for all the mistakes you committed before. And if they do make mistakes, it will be best if you encourage them to move on and try again instead of blaming and judging them.
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